Because she had a family, Rachel limited the amount of time in the evening that she would spend checking email or texts – if she would check them at all. Her boss and colleagues were single and seemed to check email religiously throughout the evening. Rachel felt that was driving her boss’s mistaken perceptions about her productivity.
Here are some tips on how Rachel could handle the situation and start the rebranding process:
- Reach out with a positive message: Set up a meeting but make sure to compose a clear-cut message beforehand. For example, a good message for Rachel to convey might be: “I realize that we both have different perceptions about my performance and I want to change that.”
- Ride in on the elephant: Difficult conversations are hard for many of us, so we tend to avoid them. Of course, that only keeps you stuck in a bad situation. Begin the meeting by saying, “This is a difficult conversation for me to have because I pride myself on being a top performer. And, above all, I want you to recognize that.” You also need to address other uncomfortable things – the elephant in the room – such as the evening emails. Rather than be defensive about your family time, why not suggest a compromise. For example, you can offer to check email once an evening at a specific time.
- Empathize: Make sure that the conversation makes your boss feel understood just as you want her to understand you. Acknowledge that you realize that your boss is under a lot of pressure too. Ask questions and listen to the response. Ask your boss how you might be able to work together with her better in the future. Resist feeling like a victim or reacting defensively. A caring demeanor and eye contact are crucial.
When meetings like this go well, you will both leave feeling that you were able to come to a better understanding of each other. And that will begin the rebranding process.